I miss high school. I really do… I even miss junior high so bad. Not that here in college is not fun. Everything is fun here.. and I’m actually kinda enjoying all the tasks and assignments and the pressures here but truly, I miss my besties. I miss Tyaz. A LOT. all the laughs, the hugs, the surprises, the brainstorming between the two of us… she was always a great partner, the best ever, her confidence, her trust in me, her never ending faith, she was so good on convinving me that I can do what I think I can’t. And I miss being around her.. listen to her stories, match her cynical thinking with my natural and positive one…
I miss the feeling of friendship, a warm atmosphere.. something so rare nowadays, when things are so hectic and crowded around me. All I wanna do at the end of the day is actually meeting her, sitting in a couch, holding a cup of tea / nice blended coffee and then talk. But life is never ever satisfied before screwing me up, right? so here I am with ten thousand things to be done and there she is, far away with her own ten thousand things, and time is just on our side. Geez. Meeting her is more impossible then finishing ALL paperworks I have to write for Psychology in only a day. It is THAT impossible to meet her. What a life.
and then… I miss Wiramihardja. this is kinda different with Tyaz. I’ve been friends with him…for.. what.. 8 years? He is now as busy as a colony of BEES or ANTS. He’s even busier than me! and I think i am the BUSIES person living on earth. I don’t know how he handles everything, being far away from family and friends and all. I really have no idea. But, there was always time for us skype-ing or chatting or texting or anything to confirm that he is (still) alive and so am I. There was time when we meet at Skype yet we can’t talk coz he had to study for an exam and I had to prepare some meals home, but still, seeing him, then saying hello to each other WAS still a form of communication. Now the analogy of a “Star-friend: not always vicible but u know we always there” is kinda hard to believe since there is almost no evidence of him being there. in a dark night sky, even if you dont see stars, you know they are there, because sometimes they popped in out of nowhere in the sky. imagine if for a year you never ever see a star, you might’ve start thinking that maybe all stars are gone.
and then again, life is never ever satisfied before screwing me up, so here I am and there he is so far away, literally, with no contact between me and him. I am wondering, actually. is he really that busy? Or am i doing something wrong and then he doesnt feel like it to talk to me? I feel like I dont know him anymore.
I don’t know. all the besties in junior hig and senior high… will time change human hearts? Is friendship really that powerless against time? If Crystal does move to Aussie, will this also happens?
I, actually still believing, that there are THINGS time could not erase. I just dont know how to convince myself that those people i really love som much are still believing in the same thing even when time and space separate us for an unknown duration. because the feeling in me is still the same. and always will be the same.
therefore, i’m warning you here Tyaz, Vin, Tal, should you three read this, you are so have to text me, contact me, call me, FB-me, email me, anything. any communication means you can reach, reach it right now. It feels stupid to tell this via blog, but I dont know how to reach u guys anmore. well, except you Tal, of course. 🙂 🙂
have a lovely day all…