Sometimes it gets too hard to let things out of my chest. As I say before, i’m a total freak. i really am. why? because occasionally i “see” things in my dream. go ahead and laugh, i’ve been laughing at myself for countless times, yet they keep appearing through my life and i’ve come to the point when i say “Okay. this is not so funny anymore. I have to talk to somebody.” to myself.
stop giving me that look like i havent tell anyone about this. i tried, all right? My mum, my bestfriend, my brother. they all give the same reaction: they look at me and show that they care and understand that i got some scary experience yet i always get the glimpse that they find it hard to believe in what i’m saying, or worse, they dont get the idea why i feel so freaked out and scared. like, oh please it’s just a dream. pray and get over it.
well, it’s not them who experienced a terrifying images of warning about someone without being able to warn that someone, because it is not such a normal thing to tell an ACQUINTANCE.
i mean, what the hell do i supposed to say, “hi, how are you? listen, i had this bad dream about you last night. i saw you got stabbed and bleeding so badly. so whether it’s right or wrong, i want you to be very careful, all right? have a nice day.”
seriously folks, JUST WRITING it already makes me feel like………………………… like i have lost my mind. frankly if someone who is my MERE ACQUINTANCE, which means he or she is not even my “regular-i-talk-to-you-everyday” friends, come and talk to me like that i will most likely react like this: “er…….okay. thanks for your concern, i really appreciate it. but……… you are so……….. weird. have anyone told you that?”
i talked to Jude and she said i should just go and tell that someone. for at least i warn that someone and i should not even care about what that someone would think.
i think…………………… Jude is quite right. I should’ve been tell this someone since the very first time i got the dream, because it could be that now is already too late, when my dreams starting to come true in real life.
I dont know why most people (Jude’s an exceptional. i love ya kid) I talked to about this dont see the reason why i got so worried. It has nothing to do with who i dreamed of. It’s about the fact that i couldnt warn that guy but slowly seeing him got hurt just as in my dream. It’s torturing me seeing the fact that this guy is the LAST person on earth I’ll tell about “superpower” in dreams. As if my life is not complicated already, here comes those dreams with this PARTICULAR guy in it.
I’m having a migraine. I need to sleep.