Hello. 🙂 Greetings everyone! This is my very first post (finally) after a super long hiatus!
But as far as I can remember, I did tell you all that i’m gonna be away on a super fun trip. *grin* After I got home, i found like a stack of things to do, most of them revolves around the preparation of my study in Japan *yaay!* so i hardly find time to do………. almost anything else.
I know i should post like a million things about the super trip. But there is something more important than that today. Beside, by my stupidity, i left all those gorgeous photos in my auntie’s computer (yes, in Bali) and i dont feel like filling you all with the trip stories without having any photos to show. 😀 😀
These past week, i’ve been spending a lot of time with my family and friends. i’ve been hanging out with Jude, Loince, Bom2, Rinane, Dee and, uh, i’ve been hanging out with A. Part of me thinks i really am tortured. For each time i go out with them, i cant help to think that, oh man, i’m gonna miss these moments. Even tough everyone been telling me that a year is not really a long time, still, there are A LOT of things could happen in that period.
Bom2 had her birthday around four days ago, and me and the girls prepared a birthday party (which turns out to be a total failure, blame it on bom2’s daddy, who innocently and deliberately told the birthday girl our whole plan of surprise. seriously. -_-). Her family (her mother an exception) has a tendency to think that we, as her friends, might do something bad to their lovely daughter that they thought they should interfere with our plan so bom2 would at least be prepared.
……………….. we were like: WHAAAT!?? eerh.
note to myself: never ever again involving her daddy and brother, unless we want it to be another major failure next year. gosh. 😀
But it was still very fun and we had an amazing night (or should i say dawn?) and we used this flour to throw at each other and by the time we stopped, you could hardly tell which one is actually the birthday girl.. ahahahaha…
I was happy, but by the time we go to bed, i was actually sad. I thought this… this is one of those moments i’ll miss. this is one of those times, where there were laughs and smiles everywhere, where love and best friends surrounding me, where you know everything is just all right. and you feel so warm and happy and all.
They are my comfort zone. Yes, they really are. Yet again, i want to grow, to do what i want to do and to be a mature girl. i want to see the world, i want to be able to reach to so many people and i can not do this as long as i stay in my comfort zone. they said we have to go through fire and water to grow even more beautifully. i know this is selfish, but cant i just grow inside my comfort zone..? T_T
I’ve been always saying that i cant live a day without my besties. I’ve been always saying that i treasure them so very much and i dont want to trad them with anything in this world, that they are literally my happiness and i dont want to let them go.
But then……….. even if i dont go to Japan this year, even if Loince’s dad stay here in Indonesia for another 20 years, even if Bom2’s family move to Jakarta……. we wont stay here forever. Each of us will find our roads, take our own paths and we will never stay at the same place. I do realize that, but i still think that it would be so nice to grow old together, that we walk side by side, watching things change, watching each other grow and always be there.
We dont stay here forever. We are people who will make changes, agent of change who will bring the breeze of peace and dream and we’ll transform the world. we can not do that by staying here forever, we gotta go, we gotta run, we gotta reach our dreams.
I.. actually really understand that. In time like this i’m just praying and hoping and believing, that some hearts are linked across time and place. some life are intertwined through the ages. some souls are bound across the highest sky and widest ocean.
and that “forever” may not be an “eternity”, but it might be to hold each other close to your heart when they are far from your eyes.